We recently lost all but three of our chickens to a fox family attack. When I posted this on Facebook (to share my grief), my cousin in Michigan commented that I seem to be a disaster magnet of sorts. This got me thinking long and hard about it.
When flashing back over a life, you MUST carry a strong sense of humor. This is my belief! I am also living proof that it works. Yes, I have had more than my fair share of mishaps and problems, but there is only one time that I ever remember taking it bad – really bad.
I was only 18 years old and was naive enough to release my virginity to a boy (and I do mean “boy” here!) that promised me exactly what I wanted to hear. His family owned a nice farm, and I was going to share it with him for the rest of our lives. WHAT A CROCK!
The very next afternoon (after I gave him my goods), he showed up in our local kid’s hang out spot (the park – ha ha) with his arms around his old girlfriend. The two looked at me, whispered, and burst out laughing – all in my honor – Jerks!! That evening as the kid-clan started to party I proceeded to get really drunk (FYI – 18 was the legal drinking age at that time in Wisconsin). I felt used, humiliated, hurt, angry, sad, and depressed.
I went to my car.
Took a hand mirror out of my purse.
Locked all the doors.
Broke the mirror on my steering wheel and proceeded to slit my wrists with one of the pieces.
Obviously, I did not succeed as I am here telling you all this. My sister and good friends saved me, and while recuperating in the local hospital, I met my life saver. She was a Therapist (shrink), and we discussed several important insights about me:
1) I go too deep when I get depressed, so I must be aware of it at all times and have/find/create a way to pull myself out of it.
2) I hold onto the bad things too much and do not celebrate the good things enough. Her suggestion for this was to give me my very first journal (diary). She instructed me to write down every night before bed everything that had accumulated in my head during that day – good – bad – and/or ugly. This was the perfect therapy for me!
3) I have to find more humor. My family was full of it but, somehow, I seemed to come up short. This began my quest! My quest to find humor in whatever situation happened. This was not always easy at that early age; now I find it a blessing.
I lost all of my original journals to the fire. This is sad to me because about eight years ago, I began going back and reading some of my entries. Not all, just enough to get a memory-feeling of that era of my life. I realized how right that Therapist was. Most of my earliest entries were sad, moody, angry, and/or depressing – -what a drag I was!?!
The reading of my old entries helped me to age better I think. I used to move real fast. My motto was I “eat stress for breakfast” – now how stupid is that?
Stress is such an ugly monster. It damages a body in so many ways it’s hard to find humor. So, instead, I make a point of laughing at it. When I feel like I am running late for something, not getting enough done, not doing more…I start laughing. Really, really hard laughing. The more I think about it, the more I laugh.
If I am running late for something – tough! They can wait, or I can reschedule = slow down!
If I am not getting enough done – who cares! There’s still tomorrow, or the next day or the next = breathe!
If I feel I am not doing enough – screw it! Now I make a huge list of everything I want to do or get done. This does not mean I will get to it all today, maybe not even this year, but eventually, I will be able to cross something off the list (which is nice since I easily and often add more) = smile!
SLOW DOWN + BREATHE + SMILE = LIFE GOES ON!