I should go further – it’s not even in my list of possibilities.  Being a great cook that it.  I love watching others do it, but when it comes to my own abilities – not a chance.  The other day I posted on my other blog that I burned myself while crafting:

hot wax blister 2

As of this post, it is doing much better:


When I craft or create anything, I expect to obtain one or two injuries.  The reason for this expectation is that I get wholly into my projects.  That being said, my attempts at any form of cooking leave a lot to be desired.  If I can’t “slap” it together in one bowl, pot, or pan and get it done within fifteen to thirty minutes, then I just won’t do it.  Thus the reason for today’s presentation to you my fine readers:

My loving sister entrusted me with the simple task of shredding cabbage for our fish tacos.  That is all I had to do, and she was lovingly handling all the rest.  Oh silly her, giving me a job using sharp objects in the kitchen.

I could have simply taken a knife and chopped up the head of cabbage.  I could have taken our old fashioned grater and worked it up on that.

old grater

I also could have cut the head into smaller pieces and shoved it in my mini-chopper.

mini chopper

But nooo…I had to use my handy-dandy bowl slicer dicer that I purchased from Walmart.  I have used it on many other occasions for simple straight slices, such as salami and cheese into sandwich slices.  On those numerous other jobs, I did not do damage to myself at all.  However, on this occasion, I wanted to try one of my other blades (never used before) to see what it could do.


The above pictures showed the results of being stupid.  The bowl slicer comes with a “guard guide” that a smart person would have stuck the cabbage chunks on, then sliced away.

chopper-guard-1.jpg  chopper-guard-2.jpg

But I never claimed to be a smart person did I?  Especially when it comes to anything in the kitchen.  The slice on my fingertip came from the peaked blades, and the scrape on my hand from the flat blade – – – both on the same hand and both at the same time.

chopper blades

I  began bleeding like a stuck pig:

SNL Julia Child skit

FYI – If you have never seen the above skit on S.N.L. (Saturday Night Live), click on the pic and it will take you to the video.  My cuts were doing about the same level of blood-letting as Dan Aykroyd’s were in the clip.  Both were hilarious!  Yes, I was laughing at myself while bleeding out my hand under running cold water.  My sister was also laughing, but my grandson was grossed out.  A 10-year-old boy being grossed out by simple cuts – how unusual?   But he was quick and kind enough to hand me several band-aids.

I have come to realize that I need to stick with my passions of writing, paper crafting, yarn stuff, beading, gardening and anything else that keeps me out of the kitchen.  I even do worlds better with saws and drills than with kitchen utensils.

My moral for today dear children – KEEP YOUR FINGERS AWAY FROM SHARP OBJECTS  – especially those you are unfamiliar with.  (Sure, like I will ever listen to my own advice – not!)

power tools

You can also check me out at: for fun stories from our farm.

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  1. You’re too funny :D…I would do the same though. My daughter is the cook/baker…I just bleed…sometimes a lot…again, must run in the family :D! (love the SNL reference :D)

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